Different stages of Fear

                                     

Just like this tree with different colors of leaves our life has different stages of fear that we go through.  Each stage of fear can be overcome by faith and self confidence.

Different Stages of Fear

As babies we have absolutely no fear of anything and anyone.  Babies are so innocent that they love and trust anyone who is loving and kind to them.  They do not judge anyone and are not analytical of what is going to happen to them if they behave in a certain way. 

As we grow older as a kid we start adopting some kind of fear.  Fear of spiders, insects, creepers, fear of teachers who would shout at kids for certain mischiefs or if the homework is not done, fear of parents for answering back or not listening to them. Fear about losing any kind of game.  Fear of failing in school or in a competition.  This fear is inbuilt into the child giving them reason of the consequences.

As we grow older from being a teenager to be middle aged, we have fear about doing well in our career, fear of being rejected by the opposite sex, fear of not been appreciated in the peer group, fear of peer pressure: what will someone say – other peoples opinions begin to matter a lot, fear of not looking beautiful or fear of not looking handsome, fear of not earning a good income. Fear of not being able to look after a family, children’s education, looking after old parents.  Fear of not able to pay the bills, pay the mortgage/rent in time.  Fear of losing friends, losing jobs, losing loved ones, fear of death.    

Most people tend to be a man pleaser with a few fears within them.  As long as they keep pleasing the boss, their position and job is secured, as long as they please their friends their friendship is secured and so on. You tend to be a “yes man” person, agreeing to the person in whatever they say just to please them.

We tend to carry all our fears with us over the years right from our childhood.  Some of the intense fears get converted to phobias which remains within us for many years.  However, we overcome some fears over a period of time.  I would say most of the fears are overcome as we age older.  You are no longer afraid and agree with your boss all the time even if he is wrong. You no longer get afraid of a spider and other insects because you understand if you don’t harm them they will not harm you and if it comes closer to you, you can easily kill it.   

Some of the reasons we overcome our fears is our faith becomes more stronger than the fear as the years go by.  For some its faith in God, for others its faith in themselves.  Self confidence increases your faith in yourself i.e. getting prepared for what is to come decreases your fear and increases your faith in yourself. For example, if you have a presentation to do on a particular subject and you have the fear of presenting, if you are fully prepared on the subject inside out, your fear will diminish since you have prepared and have practiced. 

Our brain does not distinguish between real and fake.  When we face fear, it has the same impact as rejection.  We either fight back or flight i.e run away from it.  This reaction is immediate.  If you anchor your thoughts until your logical brain wakes up in a millisecond and tells you “hey you don’t have to give in for this fear or rejection, you will make the right decision instead of just giving in to the situation.  That’s where the preparation process starts to overcome the fear.  Whether it’s a physical preparation or a mental/emotional preparation.

Now, as you make a note of all your fears and go back into anchoring your thoughts and let your logical brain wake up and allow you to overcome that fear by preparing mentally/emotionally and physically, increasing your self confidence and faith in yourself and God.

Joy D'Penha
Certified Freelance Writer
Certified Life Coach